Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Your Mama

last week there were some fraudulent charges made to my ATM card, all to those swarmy internet businesses that typically advertise with web banners and spam. i filed a claim with my bank and it's in the process of being taken care of. today my mom calls me.
"hi, michael, it's mom."
"hey mom."
"soooo, is everything all right with you?"
"uh, sure. why do you ask."
"well, i was just wondering why we got all these packages in the mail today."
"they're addressed to me? what are they?"
"yes, um, body solutions, enhance and enlarge.com, quality health, hair growth direct..."
"oh my god, mom, there's a perfectly good explanation for all that."
"hmmm, this one says glow.com. i want to open it. can i open it? i want to see if it's a glow in the dark dildo or vibrator or something."

never underestimate how freaky your parents can be.

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